Posted in The Heartful Journey

The Stress Test

So here I am, in a waiting room at Orlando Health waiting for them to pump a bunch of nuclear bullshit into me and throw my fat ass on a treadmill. I just came back from getting blood work done, I have been fasting for the last 18 hours and all I can think about is food. Lots and lots of food. The only thing standing in my way is half a freaking retirement home of old people. I’m angry, pissed beyond belief, hating myself for my shitty genetics that brought me here. Worried how I’ll be able to pay this crap off given the allowance card Disney gives me for situations like this. Worried how I’ll end up like some members of my family as they met their demise to heart issues, and most recently, a good co-worker friend who had a heart attack a few days ago. Will this be the end of me? Will I ever make it to see Billy in a few weeks (Yes, I have given in and bought plane tickets to go up north.)  Will I be on another shit ton of meds, or will all this money wasted be for nothing?

We shall find out.

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