Posted in The Billy Blogs

Our Relationship Shouldn’t Be Red Flagged (by Billy Kwiatkoski) 

I have known my girlfriend Mandy Ree from when she went to college in my hometown. She was my mentor and took me places sometimes. I knew Mandy was something special. She had a big heart and understands me when others don’t. 

Over the last eleven years, Mandy and I became a couple.We fell in love with each other even though we both have disabilities. Mandy is legally blind and I have Cerebral Palsy and learning can be hard at times, but we accept each other for who we are and not what we can’t do.

It took years for us to be taken seriously. I am a grown man with legal gaurdianship of my self, but some people who helped take care of me saw me as a child and Mandy as a  threat. That’s because Mandy doesn’t see me that way. But since I used my self advocacy skills, I fought for her to be in my life. She is smart, funny, kind, and an all around beautiful girl I want to be with. 

Me and Mandy love each other very much, and we want to get married.But we can’t because both of us would lose the support we need to live on our own. Mandy doesn’t need as much help as I do, but I need staff sometimes to help me do things Mandy can’t, like drive.

Because of this, Mandy has to live separate from me so I can have my staff help me. Mandy got a job in Florida so she lives too far away from me to visit as much. But we still make time for one another by having dates on Skype and talking on the phone. 

But that gets tough sometimes and I really wish I could be with her always.

One thing I believe is that love shouldn’t be red flagged by the government and society. Relationships as disabled people need to be shared and discussed with others so we can change the rules and live a happy life. We shouldn’t be treated different. Everybody has a right to get married without fear of losing all we have. 

Love isn’t about money and money shouldn’t be an excuse to keep me and my girlfriend separate. I may not have much, but I want her to be part of my life forever. I want to walk her down the aisle someday and maybe even have children like anyone else can. 

Mandy and I want to change the world and the way people think about us. We both are great self advocates who won’t stop chasing our dreams and making them realities. We won’t stop raising our voices until things change.

Mandy is worth the fight for me. And I won’t give up.


2 thoughts on “Our Relationship Shouldn’t Be Red Flagged (by Billy Kwiatkoski) 

  1. I can relate to this somewhat. My husband and I have mental health issues and I often feel like we’re patronised by some people. The prime example being when we had a child together.

    Our parenting skills were scrutinised and still are, resulting in social services coming to our home to observe us as a family, even though we didn’t need it and simply wanted some advice. They have stopped the observation, but are still ‘involved’. We have been ‘red flagged’ not only as a couple, but as a family too.

    Good luck to you both. You seem so happy together. May your love be strong enough to get through society’s prejudices and all the ‘red flagging’ that comes with it.


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