Posted in Cast Member Chronicles

How Do You Say Goodbye? 

So recasting has been denied and I was told I would have to report back to work, exposing myself to chemicals that can do some damage to my body. With my doctor insurance locked in the company clinic and me still without coverage, my one way ticket to casting has me deadlocked. 

So this is where I have to draw the line.

After three and a half years, three different roles, thousands of guests I met and made magic for, and countless memories made, it has come time to bid adu to this amazing company that has given me life. 

But how does one say goodbye to a dream? 

How does one say goodbye to the amazing people who made the job worthwhile?

How does one say goodbye to the amazing events witnessed in those three years? From the gospel choir backstage every marathon at Epcot, Pokemon Go hunting with the parking guys behind the Ellen ride, the Magic Kingdom After Dark experience, riding Rock and Roller Coaster with the lights on, and the special cast parties and events that made coming to work everyday fun?

How do you say goodbye to the guests who came back to you every year because they knew you were always there to reach out if a problem arises? Or to the guests who overcame disability and disease and an act as simple as giving them a button or comping a MagicBand (with supervisor approval) can make their day truly unforgettable?

I guess goodbye never comes easy, no matter the circumstance. I have a feeling that this goodbye won’t last forever. But then again one can’t be too sure, although they say I can start anew in six months with none of this nonsense above my head. 

The last three and a half months have been pure hell for me, trying to prove my worth to the world and trying to make my life better. So in a way, this goodbye could be a positive thing. This goodbye could mean relief from the hurt that has been brought upon me. Maybe this goodbye could very well be hello for something better. Maybe fate is telling me something that I don’t know. Maybe there’s more to this dream that I thought. Maybe Disney isn’t the answer, or it very well could be, but not now. Maybe it’s just not my time. Or maybe Universal will be the key to my success instead. 

Friday morning will bring a lot of emotions, as I travel to the Polynesian Village Resort one last time and hand over my badges. This time willingly. 

There’s a saying that rings true to me, from all people The Angry Video Game Nerd.

“Only through fear can we gain courage and evolve.”

And although I remain fearful of my future, I know that this is a sign of better things to come.

For now it is a time to heal, to nurture myself, and to try to find that happiness  I lost several months ago.  

Despite all I’ve been through, I will never lose my ultimate love of Disney. For without Disney, I would never be the person I am today. As bad as things have gotten lately, I never let that ruin all the good that this company has done for me. Disney will forever be my home.

And now it’s off to new adventures.

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