Posted in News and Opinions, Overcoming Adversity

Shameful? Please

So recently, a video surfaced from a motivational speaker by the name of Joey Papa, whom you can watch here, explaining his way of connecting with “Special Needs” people. In the video, Joey shares a rather unconventional tip for those who can’t seem to find the right way to connect.

In this video, Joey asks his viewers to imagine the “most shameful and embarassing moment of your life” and have it constantly repeated everywhere you go. To him, that’s the way disabled people live their lives. 

Um…what?

Since when did disability turn into a constant show of embarassment and shame? How can a man who claims himsef to be a devoted motivational speaker downplay the lives of so many people who are trying to live their lives like everyone else? Kind of defeats his purpose, right?

There are many different ways to connect with people who have any kind of differences, disability, race, sexualality, or otherwise. Using shame as a way to promote empathy is like comparing a black person to that time you farted in front of your boss, or a person who identifies as transgender to that one time you were embarassed on a date by your parents who happened to be in the same place at the same time. Sounds silly, right? Not to mention stupid. If we don’t use that frame of mind in learning about other’s differences, why must this be a way to teach others about our own? Where exactly is the logic in all this?

The fact that this video exists along with that frame of mind is a common example of why I blog, to educate others about my life experience for those afraid to ask. People who only know about life as an able-bodied person are scared of the unknown and associate our lives with shame and embarrassment. These are the kind of people who make life hell for us. This frame of mind doesn’t create empathy or a sense of bonding, but rather instills the fear of making that connection by associating your most embarrassing moment with another person’s life.

Embarrassing moments only last for a few minutes. My life has been constantly going for about 31 years now. There’s a big difference between the two and those paths should never cross, not even in theory. 

I know at times I tend to have an internal ableist mindset of my own, often setting the bar too low for myself. Although sometimes I feel shame in myself, never would I wish this shame upon anybody else, even if it’s intentions are for the greater good of society.

What the heck is this guy thinking?

To really connect with people with disabilities, one must be open to differences and break that cycle of fear and resentment. A simple hello, a helping hand with consent, and an open mind are all things that can make any connection worthwhile. A disabled person should never be treated like a shameful moment in your life on replay. We are all part of the same human race with the same wants and desires as anybody else. 

Sorry Joey, but I am not your embarrassing moment. I am not here to be shamed by your viewers, and I demand the same respect you would give to anybody that is not “Special Needs.” I feel that your heart was in the right place in attempting to educate others, but you have really missed the target on this one. You want to make the world a better place, but you’re only teaching others to hate by teaching them to shame others that are different from themselves. 

Back to the drawing board for you. Perhaps you might need a Disabilty Consultant to assist you in your speeches. Just saying 😉

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