The hardest part of my journey over the last few months has been to learn to cope with the fact that we all need a little help sometimes, and that often when we get in a comfortable position, we tend to take the stuff we love and need for granted.
Losing my job at Disney had to have been one of the worst things that’s ever happened to me. Never in my life would I have imagined the hell that would become of my life for almost a good year now. Living off super tiny paychecks and unemployment, as well as taking in RJ partially on nights he works in exchange for survival cash, was definitely not the life I wanted to live. I’m an independent woman, but I felt like I got tossed back into the darkness.
Life played out like a nightmare I constantly have. In the nightmare, I am a successful business person or graduating college, only to be pulled aside at random and told that there was an error in my records, forcing me back into highschool and having to do the whole thing over again. Just as I was in my prime, everything I worked for was taken away.
I sit here today glancing over my pay stub for the week, yet another check that doesn’t exceed $100, mostly because I’ve been in training one day a week or so for the past month.
Normally, I find myself in a deep depression over the fact that I can barely buy food let alone pay my bills. I pray every single day that I never have to deal with this again. I wish with all my might that this will be the last really bad paycheck for a while, and yet my wish never comes true. Although I’ve had some decent paychecks since making the move to the new park and picking up seasonal work, the results are often short lived.
I look at this last paycheck and smile.
Because after 8 months of suffering, trying to prove my worth to others, dealing with collection calls, and living off Dollar Store food, it’s all come to an end.
Next week, my park will officially be open. I will finally have regular work again for the first time in almost a year. I can finally gain the independence back that I craved for so long. I found a place where my career can grow, where for once, I truly feel accepted.
Six months ago when I walked out of Disney for good, I thought my life was over.
Turns out my life is just beginning.
In this rather tough journey, I found out who my true friends are, to appreciate the small things in life, and most importantly, not to take life for granted. I’ve learned to take the struggles head on, knowing as bad as things can get, with a little help from the people you love, and sometimes the ones you least expect, anything and everything is possible.
Although I still have one really tough week ahead of me, I know, like everything I lived through, it’s only temporary.
In the meantime, I’ll have one more helping of ramen please.
Ever since I was little, I always wanted to attend a taping of a TV show first hand. A few years ago, I was able to do the TODAY Show, and this week, I was able to do the Tonight Show. Might as well complete the NBC talk show cycle, right?
My first day wasn’t all fun and games (okay, that’s kind of a lie.) It was actually kind of fun.I got to work the event as an extra hours event guide, since me working the parades somehow made me eligible for special events and some productions, despite not being fully trained. The good thing about this was that I was able to watch the production surrounding the new ride as it was happening, more specifically, this segment with Blake Shelton. Although my job was to keep people from taking pictures of the taping, it was pretty hard not to fan girl out.
After work was over, I was able to take a quick shower and head off to the concert. Surprisingly, I was able to get pretty close up to the front, even though I was the last person in the holding pen. Not too shabby.
Despite my crappy budget phone, I was still able to get a decent picture of Blake in his hunky country glory. And the added bonus of Jimmy and Blake performing a mash up of random songs at the end made the night even more special. My phone died before then, but you can check out this video by YouTuber Amandahope1981. It was quite a treat to see these two have a little fun.
The next day was a day of rest, as I didn’t wander into the park until about 5:30pm. By then, Jimmy was in the middle of his monologue filming in the Blue Man Group theater (I wasn’t lucky enough to grab tickets) and he was nowhere in sight. But at least I was able to hang out with Hashtag the Panda for a bit. Here we are, channeling our inner Frankenstein.
After playing with a panda for a bit, I found myself back in the pen for the next concert, Flo-Rida, 99 Percent, and The Roots.
A few minutes before they opened up the pen, there was a Jimmy Fallon sighting, and the crowd went nuts. People in the pen ran out to chase Jimmy, just as they cleared out, we got released into the music plaza.
Hello, front row!
Never thought in a million years, I would be front row for anything. For a legally blind nerd like me, this is a dream come true.
The spot I had for Flo’s performance of “Cake” made way for some great close ups of Fallon and the gang in action.
Well, it’s the dawn of the third day of my Fallon Journey, and I found myself in the “nosebleeds” of grand opening day. Also known as general admission. There was a sweepstakes for the VIP access to the red carpet, and despite entering every single team member and random Facebook giveaway I could find, I was unsuccessful.
But that still wasn’t necessary a bad thing.
The only saving grace was being able to spot Higgins and The Roots from atop a parade float. That sort of counts, right?
Listening to Jimmy give his speech prior to cutting the ribbon was nothing short of touching. You could almost hear him trying not to cry as he thanked his family and the team members who worked to make his dream a reality. The story behind the ride started off with rejection from the creative director for the parks, Mark Woodbury six years ago. After a few years passed and Jimmy got promoted to the Tonight Show, his idea for a ride that pays tribute to New York City was resurrected and Race Through New York was born.
Proof that second chances do exist and that great ideas never die.
As I was leaving the area, something told me to go back.I don’t know why I chose to do this, since Jimmy and the gang were heading backstage and nothing special or exciting was happening.
And then I bumped into Tim Tracker, a well known YouTuber, and one of my favorites.
Guess fate works in mysterious ways.
Needless to say, this week has been one of the best weeks of my life. As much as I wanted to leave Florida behind after the events that unfolded the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that I have indeed found my home. I am beyond thankful for all the amazing opprotunities I have had with Universal and can’t wait to see what my next adventure holds for me at Volcano Bay.
“Remind me that the most fertile lands were built by the fires of volcanoes.”
I spent most of my writing and blogging career chronicling the trials and tribulations of me and Bill, star crossed lovers from age, disability, and location standpoints. I told our stories, both good and bad, in hopes that one day, we could of paved the way for other disabled folks to get married and live that fairy tale life.
But as of last month, I feel like a fraud.
I had a few really bad months under my belt due to job loss and financial hardship, having my friend RJ help me out in exchange for a place to stay on nights he would work late. Not a choice I wanted to make, but it was that or risk homelessness.
Of course, Bill was never able financially to help me, only to be my cheerleader in my time of great crisis. His disabilities meant he wouldn’t be able to move down to Florida for me, and he encouraged me to move in with him.
As magical as it would of been to be with the one I love, I couldn’t do it. The idea of living off benefits and having the potential of being cared for by staff, although ideal, would of been the death of me. It was a life he knew all too well, and the only life he has known, but for me, it wasn’t enough unless it was a last resort before moving back in with mom and dad.
I wrote about us constantly, and now without him, I feel lost. For every share of an old story, I feel like a liar. For the presenting I have done and will be doing, I feel like life with him was just a figment of my imagination, a folk tale as big as Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.
Without him, life erupted, and everything I thought we had was destroyed.
I often wondered what he must be going through right now, how hurt he must be, or if he even misses me. Or am I just that annoying phone call in the middle of a Titanfall marathon? Who knows?
A friend from my Disney Days now works as a staff person for a house up north not too far from Bill, and she was able to update me on what’s going on.
Apparently to Bill, I “cheated on him with RJ,” a far cry from the truth since RJ knows I’m still head over heels for the guy and wants me to figure things out on my own.
No matter what I do for Bill, whether it be an email, text, Skype, or voicemail, it just doesn’t seem like enough to convince him to forgive me, or at least give me the closure I need so I can focus on other things.
It makes me look like the bad guy. It also makes me feel like one too.
As Mardi Gras season comes to a close tomorrow for me, the anxiety of going to a whole new park grows more and more each day. Watching that Volcano manifest from the side of the highway gives me both comfort and sadness, fear that I did this whole thing for my own gain and not his, and joy that I will finally be able to get my life back together again.
If only Bill could give me that one chance to prove that this was all worth it and forgive me. If only he could be proud of me and not ashamed. If only he knew the amount of courage it takes to keep going amongst all the hardships I outnumbered the last few months. If only he could understand.
But the question remains, does he understand? Is he able to? Or are my pleas for his acceptance just falling into the lava?
If only I could find that acceptance in myself as this new journey beckons instead of relying on him. I want to be excited for this new opportunity, but I feel already burned out.Not that the job is bad or anything of the sort, but for everything else going on in my life.
I guess it’s me versus the Volcano. Let the battle for acceptance begin.
For weeks now, I have walked past a very impressive mini 30 Rock rising from the dust that was once the home of Twister (a now denfunct interactive experience that made you feel you were on set of the famous Bill Paxton flick.)
Situated on mini 30 Rock is the new Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon.This new ride is one of the first experiences at the park that offers a virtual line, similar to Disney’s FastPass service that allows you to reserve a time to go in and enjoy the ride with minimal wait. Universal has been testing a virtual line experience on it’s offical app the last few weeks for Minion Mayhem, but Fallon has taken a step above the typical reserve a time process and made the line it’s own special experience.
How is a line for a ride a special experience? We all know a typical theme park line is pure unadulterated hell, kids crying, tour groups chanting things in languages you don’t understand, people shoving past you with the excuse of their family is inside. You know the drill.
And then you get into Fallon and everything you thought about the line experence is thrown out the window.
Right now, they are doing soft openings of the ride at random, it’s official opening day April 6th. The last two weeks, they had the normal line set up, but the day I went, they were testing the virtual line, where you go to a kiosk and get a ticket with a time stamp.
When it was my time to go in, I was given a colored plastic card that would tell me when it was my time to ascend to the next room. Fallon is split amongst three rooms, the lobby, the lounge, and the actual ride itself. When it was my time to go to the next section, the famous NBC chime would ding and the room’s lights would change to that color.
I happened to be blue that day.
The lobby is found on the other end of a hall of many NBC logos, great stop for taking selfies.
In the lobby was a museum of different Tonight Show memorabilia, chronicling each era of hosts from Steve Allen, Johnny Carson, Jay Leno, and everyone in between. Even Conan got his time in the spotlight as well. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get any good photos since it was my time to wander up to the lounge.
The lounge was a great little area with cushy chairs with phone charging stations, touchscreen games, meet and greets with Hashtag the Panda, and an actual performance by the Ragtime Gals barbershop quintet. Who knew waiting in line could be so much fun?
All in all, Race Through New York was a fresh take on the virtual stimulator rides of yore. It wasn’t super cutting edge and some of the jokes would go over non-Fallon fans’ heads, but it was a silly ride with a playdul vibe. You have to see it to believe it and take it for it’s silly attitude.
The whole experience itself was different in the sense that your time spent wasn’t wasted fighting with line cutters or staring at the same wall for two hours herded like cattle.This was an experience unlike any other. You felt like you were at 30 Rock, as a matter of fact, people who have been to the tapings have posted that this is almost an exact clone, every detail made down to the chairs, the decor, even the loading area for the theater. The performances from the Ragtime Gals and Hashtag were fun and playful, making them more of an attraction than the actual ride. I almost didn’t want to go in because I was having so much fun.
All in all, once this ride opens, it will not disappoint. Take it for it’s fun and whimsy nature rather than the next big badass ride. It’s clever, fun, and a great ride for all to enjoy.
Well, mostly all. Here is a video clip of the preloading instructions.
My biggest critic turned out to be the person I devoted my whole life to. And because of a tough choice I made in finding a stable career, I lost him.
After about a decade of trying to make things work between us, me and Bill decided to part ways. There was more involved than what I want to share, but the gist is that I decided to fight the odds against me and work hard to make my life one where I don’t have to settle for less.
Back in August, I lost my job with Disney, and with my fate being undetermined with Universal for the longest time with me not finding anything beyond seasonal or temp work, all signs pointed to me moving in to Bill’s supportive living community in a last ditch effort to not resort to moving back in with my parents, a fate many of my friends with disabilities, and some without, have faced.
To Bill, this meant we could live out our lives where he would be taken care of and have me at the same time. And as magical as it would of been to be with the person I loved, it would of torn me apart inside.
Although being born with the challenges I have faced, my family made every single attempt to raise me as if I were a normal child. My dad, being the conservative kind of guy he is, always told me to work for my goals and not ask for a handout. Even my mother worked every single job she could find so we could move out of living in poverty and be happy, ever since I could remember. I wanted to be like my parents and fight for what I wanted even if the odds are stacked against me. I saw them grow from minimum wage retail workers to being a corrections officer and a teaching assistant. If they could do it, so can I.
Bill, on the other hand, had different plans for me, and although they seemed wonderful, they weren’t for me. His idea of a perfect life involved having me and him move in together, live off the system and food stamps, and essentially have no control over my money while his staff take care of our bills, our meals, everything.
As cushy as that sounds, I didn’t buy into it.
Now I’m not trashing that lifestyle by any means, but what he was used to given his disability and what I was used to as a person who got denied for most government benefits just never added up to me. Where would I have fit in in all of this? What purpose would I have aside from being a live-in girlfriend? So many questions, not enough answers.
A few weeks ago I got the news that I was able to transfer into Universal’s newest theme park, going back to my roots as a vacation planner and finally having stable employment. Bill judged me for making the choice of career over him, and who can’t blame him?
I worked hard for last eight months to prove myself worthy of getting back in the workforce, and sadly, it came at a price of losing the person I love the most.
Whether I lost him for good or not remains uncertain, but my love for him will never die even though things didn’t work out the way he planned. I can only hope one day he will forgive me for making the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make.
Nevertheless, I persisted. Having the disabilities I have will never stop me from living my dreams.
If only he could see that this decision is worthwhile.
After dealing with Bill drama the last few days, a girl deserves to treat herself to a fun day out.
Universal Orlando has a Mardi Gras event every year, full of concerts by well known bands, street performers, food kiosks, and the headline of the night, the big parade with real floats straight from the streets of New Orleans.
The parade allows for participants to ride the floats, first the annual passholders and a few random hotel guests, then those who decide to wait in stand by, and sometimes, manager picked families as a random “magical moment”
I just so happened to do the stand by line. I waited in front of Barney’s Backyard Theater for about an hour and a half amungst a crowd of people hoping for their chance to ride the float.
I got in.
I was assigned to a float called the Garden Sprite, a float themed around forest fairies, mushrooms, and lots of glittery flowers. She is one of six new floats that made their debut this year in the park, a theme revolving around mythology and fantasy stories. A co-worker a few days ago told me more about the history of Mardi Gras and the floats and mentioned that sometimes, there’s an underlying theme surrounding the floats that are in the parade. It just so happened that Universal has it as a fantasy theme this year.
The float surrounding us each had their own special effect, whether it be shooting fire, confetti, or a smog effect. Our little sprite just so happen to shoot confetti, and lots of it.
And of course, riding a Mardi Gras float wouldn’t be complete without beads, and tons of them. For 30 minutes, guests on the float had to toss an almost endless supply of beads to the masses…
…while also grabbing some for yourself.
Sometimes, doing something as spontaneous as riding a float can really change your outlook on life. Needless to say, it’s a whole different experience being on the float then walking in front of it like I often do as an escort. Of all the things I ever did at Universal from the guest and team member perspective, this happens to be one of my favorites.
The event runs until March 25th with parades happening daily. If you want to be part of the action, hang out at the orange benches outside the Barney Theater about 2 hours before parade step off. 3 hours if it’s a concert night.